Listen Bettery Don t Start Up With Your White Zone Shit Again

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As Aeroplane! is a shoe-in on any list of the funniest films of all time, this is gonna be a looooooong list...

• The opening credits where the fin of the airplane doubles for a shark fin, complete with appropriate music!
• The most famous one is:

  Ted Striker: Surely you tin can't be serious!

• An elderly adult female just overcome with airsickness has this reaction:

  Old Woman: I oasis't felt this awful since I saw that Ronald Reagan pic.

• "Excuse me, stewardess. I speak Jive."
  • When Barbara Billingsley passed away, nigh every online news source and blogger posted her "I speak Jive" clip. Definitely a Crowning Moment.
• A passenger asks for something low-cal to read... she's given a tiny "Famous Jewish Sports Legends" leaflet.
• Whatsoever mention of Ted's "drinking trouble".
  • Or his mind-numbingly boring stories of life later the regular army. Or rather, the reactions to said stories.
• "It was a rough identify - the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It's worse than Detroit."
• "Looks like I picked the incorrect week to quit smoking."
  • "Looks similar I picked the wrong week to stop drinking."
    • "Looks like I picked the wrong calendar week to quit amphetamines."
    • "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue." *sniff*
• "...What a pisser."
• Pretty much everything air control employee Johnny (Stephen Stucker) does, all of which is advertizing libbed. He's basically the only 1 who knows that this movie is a comedy.

  "Johnny, what practise you brand of this?" *hands him a estimator printout*

  "This? Why, I tin can make a hat, or a brooch, or a pterodactyl, can consume your..."

  • "And Leon's getting laaaaaarger!"
  • "The tower? Rapunzel! Rapunzel!"
  • (after he has plugged back in the rail lights, which have gone out in the middle of an emergency landing) "Simply kidding!" (Evil Laugh)
  • (to Mrs. Oveur) "Where did you get that dress, information technology's awful, and those shoes and that coat, jeeeeez!"
  • "Me John Large Tree."
  • This exchange:

    McCroskey: "Your husband and the others are live, but unconscious."
    Johnny: "Simply like Gerald Ford."

  • "Offset the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came but they got too big and fatty and so they died and turned to oil. So the Arabs came and they were driving Mercedes Benzes. And Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di'southward wearing apparel. I couldn't believe information technology"...
  • "In that location'due south a sale at Penney's!"
  • "Oh, it'south a big pretty white airplane with ruddy stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks similar a big Tylenol!"
  • In the climax: "Auntie Em!!! Uncle Henry!!! Toto!!! It'south a twister!!! Information technology's a twister!!!"
  • "We need someone that won't crack nether pressure."
  • "Mayday, what the hell is that?"

    "May Day, why that's the Russian New year's day! We'll agree a big parade..."

  • "Hey Johnny, how about some java?" "No thank you!"
• "Okay, boys. Let's take some pictures."
• "We have clearance, Clarence." "Roger, Roger. What'due south our vector, Victor?"
• Crowning Moment of Funny? What is it?
  • Information technology'south a moment that is flat-out hilarious, but that'southward not of import right now.
• "It'south a big building where the generals encounter, but that's not important right at present".
  • Later thrown dorsum at her: "Information technology's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now."
  • "It's the petty room in the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but that's non important right now."
• "No thank you. I have it black, similar my men."
  • The look the boy gives her after that line is gold as well.
• Rex Kramer beats up some guys.
  • "Stop nuclear power?" *whack* "How nearly Buddhism?" *pow* "Scientologyyyyyyyy!"
    • Using arguably the nigh beautiful dorsum-flip kick-throw e'er.
    • Doubles as a Moment of Crawly for anyone who's ever gotten annoyed and accept been wanting to hitting whatsoever of those persistent, annoying donation seekers—this is foreshadowed in the opening sequence when Ted himself punches ane of the guys.
    • At the time this movie was made, airports were teeming with people similar this, so viewers probably did get a visceral satisfaction out of this sequence.
    • And one of those guys is a young Charles Logan.
• Rex Kramer "driving" to the airport.
  • Where to outset? First, he runs over a bicyclist, and is completely unaware of it, even as the cyclist calls him an asshole.
  • Then, the fact that every time they turn, he's either not turning the wheel or turning information technology the other mode.
    • Or the fact that at one point, the driving footage conspicuously doubles in speed.
  • And then the Indian assault...
• "...gratis to live a life of religious fulfillment."
  • Bonus points for the Pinocchio Nose.
• "He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air. Yeah, birds as well."
  • "Alright, he's a risk. But what choice do we take?"
• "Keep him at 24,000. No, feet."
• Striker at the seedy bar where he first sees Elaine: "It hit me similar a thunderbolt. I had to ask the guy next to me to pinch me to make sure I wasn't dreaming." Striker says something, and the burly longshoreman next to him gives him a dirty look and edges away cautiously.
• Oveur has had some interesting experiences:
  • "Y'all ever seen a grown man naked?"
  • "Take you lot ever been in a Turkish prison?"
  • "Practise you similar movies about gladiators?"
    • When the film Gladiator was released, one critic made sure to ask Peter Graves what he thought of it only because of that last 1.
• "It'due south an entirely different kind of flying, altogether."

  All, Together: "Information technology'south an entirely different kind of flying."

• "That'south Lt. Hurwitz. He thinks he'south Ethel Merman."
  • Bonus points for actually being played by Ethel Merman (in her terminal film part).
• "Ladies and gentleman, this is your stewardess speaking. We regret whatsoever inconvenience the sudden cabin move might accept caused. This is due to periodic air pockets we encountered. There'due south no reason to exist alarmed and we hope you savor the rest of your flight. By the fashion, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?" (cue Mass "Oh, Crap!")
  • And a pair of nude breasts randomly announced, jiggling in front of the camera.
• The beating eye on the desk at the Mayo Clinic.
  • And the fact that the shelves behind him have jars of mayo.
  • "I have an emergency call for you on line v from a Mr. Hamm." "Alright, gimme Hamm on 5, concur the Mayo."
• "I just want to tell you both good luck, we're all counting on you."
  • Including after the aeroplane has successfully landed.
• The quarreling announcers.
• "WZAZ in Chicago, where DISCO LIVES FOREVER!" (Airplane immediately knocks over the station'due south transmitting antenna.)
• Roger hits his Rage Breaking Betoken with little Joey after hearing that his father thought poorly of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

  Joey: I recollect you're the greatest, but my dad says yous don't work hard enough on defense force. And he says that lots of times, you lot don't fifty-fifty run down court. And that you don't really try... except during the playoffs.

  Roger: The hell I don't! (looks around; grabs and pulls Joey in) Listen, kid. I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'thousand out there busting my buns every night. Tell your one-time man to drag Walton and Lanier upwardly and downwardly the court for 48 minutes!

• "No, the white phone."
  • This moment becomes twice as funny when y'all know that Peter Graves actually did pick upward the incorrect telephone, and the directors just went with information technology.
• Otto the Autopilot. The wait on his face when Elaine has to re-inflate him? Priceless.
  • And the scrap where the doctor walks in, sees her inflating him, and turns around and walks straight out...
  • At the cease of the movie, it turns out that Otto is sentient, and he flies the plane abroad, afterward inflating a female companion, who looks suspiciously like Elaine.
• Ted buying a ticket for the plane and taking the smoking selection. He's and so handed a ticket that is literally smoking.
• "Ii more minutes?! They could be miles off class!" "That's incommunicable, they're on instruments!" And so nosotros see that, yes, indeed they are...
• The scene where the boy is reading a Nun's Life mag, a few seats from the nun reading a Boy's Life.
  • With a surfing nun on the encompass.
• "When Kramer hears nigh this, the shit's gonna hit the fan."
• Modern Sperm magazine...a one-off image gag, but even so amusing to think about.
  • Which is in the "Whacking Textile" section right next to "Not-Fiction" rack.
• Captain Oveur ate fish...
  • The doctor had lasagna.
• A very overlooked joke that got driveling in the sequel.

  Murdock: You lot desire me to check the weather, Clarence?
  Oveur: No, why don't you lot take intendance of information technology?

• "No, that's what they'll be expecting us to do."
• "Christmas, Ted, what does that mean to you? To me, it was a living Hell. Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and go kicked on the caput with an iron boot? Of form y'all don't, no one does. It never happens. Lamentable, Ted, that's a dumb question... skip that."
• Mrs. Oveur and her horse.
• This:

  Ted: We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri in 1200 hours. We're coming in from the n below their radar.
  Elaine: When will you lot exist back?
  Ted: I tin can't tell you that. It's classified.

• This rather unfortunate exchange:

  Rex: Our only hope is to build this human being up. Nosotros gotta give him all the confidence we can. (into microphone) Striker, have you ever flown a multi-engine aeroplane before?
  Ted: No. Never.
  Rex: (with microphone nonetheless on) Shit! This is a goddamned waste of time! In that location'southward no way he tin country this plane!

  • Ted's deer-in-headlights reaction from the cockpit really sells this ane.
  • "Flight a plane is no different than riding a bicycle. Information technology'south just a lot harder to put baseball cards in between the spokes."
• The parade of emergency vehicles dispatched at the Chicago drome includes a Budweiser truck, an ice cream truck, a Sparkletts h2o truck, a cement mixer, and a tractor.
  • The outset one was about likely necessary after everything they went through.
• This exchange:

  Dr. Rumack: "Captain, how soon can we land?"
  Oveur: "I can't tell."
  Dr. Rumack: "You can tell me, I'thou a medico."
  Oveur:"No, I mean I'chiliad not sure."
  Dr. Rumack: "Tin can't you accept a judge?"
  Oveur: "Well... not for another two hours."
  Dr. Rumack: "You tin can't take a guess for another two hours?"

• The scene where Ted and Elaine kiss on the embankment. And and so the waves come up in and drench them. When they recede, Ted and Elaine are covered in seaweed and there'due south even some fish flopping about next to them.
  • It's fifty-fifty ameliorate when you lot know that, regardless of what everyone thinks the kickoff time they see the scene, the Zuckers and Abrahams weren't familiar with From Here to Eternity and it's not an intentional parody of that film'southward beach lovemaking Signature Scene.
• Kramer: "I desire every light yous can get poured onto that field!" McCroskey (pointing out to the airfield) "Beingness done right now." Cut to a dump truck unloading electric lamps onto the ground.
• Dr. Rumack's introduction. He is asked if he is a doctor. He replies yes...and for some odd reason he'due south wearing a stethoscope.
  • That's what airline headsets looked like at the fourth dimension.
• Elaine does her job of relaying data to the control tower a bit too well

  Kramer: What's the weather condition similar?
  Ted: Rain, and a little ice.
  Elaine: (on radio) Rain, and a trivial ice.
  Kramer: Alright, Striker. Just go along the plane steady and everything volition be fine.
  Ted: (to Elaine) It's a damn adept affair he doesn't know how much I hate his guts.
  Elaine: (on radio) Information technology's a damn proficient thing you don't know how much he hates your guts.

• The plane that due to poor manus signal communication taxis straight through the terminal window.
  • One adult female within the concluding tin exist seen tossing her babe directly up in the air while running away. The DVD'south trivia track fifty-fifty highlights it.
    • Meta-example: this crash footage shows up in an episode of The A-Team!
• "I only want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you."
• "Shayna, they bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash!"
• Vintage airplane examination footage over the traumatic voiceover from Ted's past ("You'll have to decide! Y'all'll have to decide!").
• The Brick Joke at the end of the motion-picture show after the credits (one of the earlier examples of The Stinger).

  Taxi passenger: Well I'll give him another 20 minutes, only that'due south it.

  • What makes this joke even funnier is that the passenger in question was played by Howard Jarvis, who was a lobbyist and politician known for advocating confronting taxation increases and for financial responsibility. Note that Stryker started the fare meter and never close information technology off, meaning it was running during the unabridged events of the moving picture.
• The long line of people wanting to slap some sense into the hysterical female rider. Several of them are wielding various implements with which to beat her. And one has a gun. She's in for a earth of injure. Even funnier is that Rumack slaps the woman twice: Once when he's trying to calm her downwards, and over again when he leaves and the next person takes his identify.
• Randy singing "River of Jordan" to the sick girl who's a passenger. It seems like information technology'due south going to be a heartwarming moment - and then the flight bellboy knocks the girl'due south 4 feed out with her guitar. Afterward the daughter's 4 tube is reconnected, Randy's guitar disconnects the IV tube a second time!
• "He's all over the place! 900 feet up to 1,300 feet. What an asshole!"
  • And yes that is a young Jonathan Banks.
• "I just want to tell you both good luck. Nosotros're all counting on you."
• When all hell breaks loose on the airplane, ane of the nuns starts strangling a Hare Krishna (David Leisure).
• The infamously long brawl between the ii girl scouts during Ted's flashback. Information technology seemingly ends with 1 girl getting slid downward the bar into the Jukebox, which starts playing Stayin' Alive. At which point all the shady folks in this Wretched Hive of a bar beginning dancing. You tin can and then spot the girl scouts withal beating each other up while Ted and Elaine are dancing. And and so finally, when Ted and Elaine are slow dancing long later on everyone else has left and a guy'south sweeping upwardly, we hear a dial, a scream, and i of the girl scouts lands on the dance floor.
• When the music kicks upwardly, Ted removes his jacket and carelessly whips it off screen before hit a disco pose... but to have the jacket thrown right back in his face.
• During Ted'south offset meeting with 'Elaine', he ends upwards dancing the kazatsky while juggling apples.
• A guy trying to remove a pocketknife from his back has his anguished moves seamlessly mirrored by a dancing Elaine in perfect accordance.
• The scene cuts to near closing fourth dimension, with Ted and Elaine still dancing... and the Daughter Scouts nonetheless fighting.
• Rex Kramer dresses in front of a mirror... or does he? When finished, his supposed reflection just crosses nether the frame of the doorway. If you glimmer, you lot'll miss it.
• When Ted successfully lands the plane several reporters rush into several bordering phone booths to report the news...and they promptly knock the entire phone stand over.
• The choir's voices cracking during the film's love theme.
  • Worth noting: Elmer Bernstein had never scored a directly-up spoof before and was unsure how to do information technology; ZAZ told him to arrive completely deadpan, equally though information technology were a serious flick. The choir joke is fifty-fifty funnier when yous think dorsum and realize that (except for the Jaws quote) information technology's the only musical gag in the flick; the rest is the musical equivalent of all the actors keeping a directly face.
• When anybody gets into their "crash positions."

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Source: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/Airplane

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